Church CLOSED

Good day all,

Due to the Corona Virus our church is still closed, but we hope and pray that we should be able to open up in the beginning of September 2020. 

We miss you all and are praying for you, shalom. 

TRT OFFICE

(ENG) MARRIAGE COUNSELING 2- Communication

MARRIAGE COUNSELLING 2

COMMUNICATION               

One of the biggest problems in marriages are communication.

Before two people are married they have a lot to talk about, but afterwards, they seem to drift apart and have nothing to say to each other.  This is a common problem in almost every marriage – but there is a way to deal with it.

There are three things that can be done by marriage couple that could help them with the problem of communication:

  • If they can speak openly, and listen carefully to the partner;
  • When they can build each other up after fighting – and not breaking each other down;
  • If they spend intimate time DAILY with exchanging their feelings regarding things with each other.

To communicate with each other in a marriage, one has to not only speak, but also listen carefully.  Most men complain that women listen but don’t hear what they are saying, while women complain men do not listen to what they say. To listen to someone does not necessarily mean that you UNDERSTAND what the person is saying.   To speak to each other can built or break a relationship.  When it starts getting to the point that couples stop listening to each other, there is already damage control in the marriage.

Usually in a marriage there is one partner who is verbally stronger than the other.  According to the Bible, a man must be the head of the house, but sometimes you find that they are passive and the women takes the place of the head since the man is toot soft to argue with the wife.  After many years, he reluctantly accepts the fact that his wife is “boss” and he does everything she says.  In such a relationship the women doesn’t ask for help but commands held in a military type action which makes the man feel less important than her, and he would submit to the dominating spirit of his wife and eventually do everything the wife commands.

Dr. James Dobson mentions a “game” that husbands and wife’s are playing: he calls it “murder your spouse” (with words). Many times a man would criticize his wife in front of friends, later she would refuse to give him sex because of his behavior – there’s a problem.  Sometimes the wife would speak down to her husband in front of family members, this makes the man feels like a worm, and to punish her he would go searching for attention elsewhere.

IT IS NEVER THE RIGHT TIME TO SPEAK NEGATIVELY OVER YOUR SPOUSE IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE

Two things a man should never do, is tell his friends how ugly and stupid his wife is – this is unforgivable.  If he tells her that she is stupid in front of friends and she can start crying, he feels like he should receive bonus points in this game they are playing.  A good movie to watch regarding this type of relationship is the movie called “the BREAK-UP” with Jennifer Arniston.  There is a lot you can learn from watching this movie… how the man is just not willing to help her in the house, or even help his brothers in their business..  he is very selfish to do anything because it was all about him…. Watch this movie slowly and listen to every word and learn from the character that is playing against her.  It can help you in your marriage with your wife.

You will notice in the movie she gets mad for him for not bringing her lemons for the table centre-piece that she wanted to make.  He thinks it is not a big deal!  But it is… he did not listen.  She specifically asked for 8 lemons… you see, when you do not listen attentively at what your spouse is asking of you, there comes a problem… even over little things like lemons! These little things are used by the devil to bring division into your marriage.  The way to overcome them is to listen carefully when your spouse speaks and to do what he/she asks you to do… it is that simple!

It is not only the men that are doing mistakes.  Women should also watch what she did in the movie… she retaliated when he didn’t help her.  She fought back…. This is not scriptural!  Learn from the mistakes these two made… the outcome was a break-up! Don’t let it happen to you and your spouse.  If problems start, go and see someone that can help you work it out and get your marriage back on track!

The worst in any marriage situation is when you try to spite each other with things like in the movie where he invited a few “strippers” and dancers and friends to have a party in their place.  She was unaware of what he was planning and this is just not on when you are living together.  Look at the hurt in her eyes and face when she walks through the door and saw what he was doing.  Communication is the best medicine for any relationship… and not just in a marriage!

Pray together and start reading the Bible together, this is very important for a marriage.  If you and your spouse need Marriage counselling and you are close to our church in Meyerton (Vaal triangle) you are welcome to make an appointment to come and see us for Marriage counselling – it will be handled discreetly and confidentially. Shalom.

For MARRIAGE COUNSELING – contact our Office and ask for Ps. Nomsa Directly and say it is in connection with your Marriage – our Office number is 071 178 7799.

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(ENG) MARRIAGE COUNSELING 1 – Your Relationship

YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Try and answer the following questions.

Do it together with your partner …and then discuss it.

  • How do you see your relationship at this moment?
  • Name five good things about your partner?
  • Name five bad things about your partner without judging or critisizing?
  • Mention five good things about your relationship?
  • Name five bad things about your relationship?
  • Say: I am the happiest in our relationship when …..?
  • Answer: I get HURT the most in our relationship when ….?
  • Me and my partner disagree about the following: ….make a list?
  • What did we do at our last blow-out – how did we solve the problem…? Or did we…?
  • What do you need to change in your relationship?
  • What do you expect of your spouse NOW in your present relationship?
  • What is missing from your relationship that you had before?
  • When was the last time you were intimate with your partner? With flirtations? Not just sex.
  • With whom do you share your bed: animals or children?
  • When last did you make breakfast in bed for your spouse…if ever?
  • When last did you bathe your spouse?
  • When last did you make a nice card…not buy one… but actually hand-made one? Not printed from pc.  Hand-made.
  • When last did you spoke about your relationship without fighting about it?
  • What makes you feel that you are loved?
  • What are you going to do this week to let your partner know that you still love her very much…not jut “love her”..!
  • Is your marriage a pain and suffering time or a pleasure and fun peaceful relationship?
  • Describe your partner in ONE word!

 The above questions should be done every month at the last week on a quiet night alone at home.  Each one must answer the questions honestly before the other one without fighting or screaming.  Be honest with your partner:  What do you feel is lacking from your relationship which you had last month that you didn’t have this month, etc.

After discussing, each make a special something to the other to either eat or use that you know he/she will enjoy.  Spend the night together with love and peace and trust the Lord to be part of your relationship, in Jesus Name. 

Shalom. 

(Credits to research of materials included in TRT Marriage counselling Handbook)

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(AFR) HUWELIKS-BERADING 2 – “Ken jy my?”

HUWELIKS-BERADING – “Ken jy my?”

Goeiedag julle pragtige mense daar buite,

Nadat ek jare lank “Huweliks-berading” gedoen het (as a Pastoor) vir paartjies, en ek ‘n baie interessant manier gehad het waarmee ek met paartjies gewerk het, het ek uiteindelik besluit om die mense daar buite bietjie te help.  Ek raai elke man en vrou aan (wat getroud is) om hierdie vorm deur te gaan, en kyk hoe goed ken jy jou man of vrou.

Hierdie is nie ‘n speletjie nie, dis ‘n “Ken-jy-my” om te sien hoe baie mans van hulle vroue weet en visa-versa.

Toe ek getroud was en ek my man ontmoet, het ons mekaar leet ken.  En toe dit ernstig begin raak en hy wil trou toe se ek vir hom dat ek nie met hom kan trou nie, want hy ken my nie genoeg nie.  Toe lag hy en se: “Ek ken jou!”.  Waarop ek antwoord het: “Ok, vul dan hierdie vorm in dan sien ons hoe goed ken jy my…?”  en dit was die begin van ‘n asemrowende verhouding.  Want wanneer twee mense wil trou moet hulle seker wees dat hulle mekaar baie goed ken.  Nou vra ek jou vandag: Hoeveel weet jy van jou vrou en hoeveel weet jy van jou man?  Mense is so vinnig om te trou nou se dae… soos my pa altyd gese het: “Trou is nie perde Koop nie”.

Sou jy die vrae hierop kon antwoord en weet dat dit reg sou wees? Die manne moet die vorm invul asof hulle vroue dit vra en dan moet hulle antwoord.  En die vroue moet die vorm invul asof hulle mans vrae vra en hulle moet dan neerskryf wat hulle van hom weet.

Wanneer paartjies na my toe kom vir Huweliks-berading, dan laat ek hulle ‘n soortgelyke vorm voltooi om te sien hoe goed hulle mekaar ken.  Een man se vir my hy ken sy vrou al 34 jaar.  Ek vra hom: “Wat is haar gunsteling parfuum?”, waarom hy antwoord: “Sy het nie ‘n gunstelng nie, ek koop vir haar die goedkoopste en sy was nog altyd dankbaar…”  Ek se toe vir hom: “Jy ken nie jou vrou nie!”.  Hy vra sy vrou: Is dit waar?.  “Ja, se sy, ek het maar altyd net aanvaar wat jy gekoop het maar ek hou eintlik van “Christian Dior”…. Nou ja toe, wat sal ek meer se.

Vir die manne en die vroue.  Vat hierdie vorm en sit bymekaar in stilte en vul die vorm in.  Die geheim is julle moenie daaroor praat terwyl julle dit invul nie.  Dan gee julle dit terug vir die ander een, en vra hulle moet dit regmerk of verkeerd merk.  Ek se jou nou – Jy sal geskok wees as jy jou punte terug kry om te sien hoe sleg jy rerig jou man of vrou ken…. En hierdie is maar net die eerste vorm.  Daar is nog vier ander.  Ha… ha… ha….

Net so terloops, moenie die vorm eers invul en dan vir jou maat gee en se hulle moet dit deur lees en kyk waarvan jy hou nie.  So werk dit nie; want teen more het hulle alles vergeet wat hulle van jou gelees het.  Doen dit op die manier wat ek bo verduidelik het.  Vul dit in asof dit ‘n toets is wat jou maat jou vrae en merk dan jou en gee terug.  My man het 99% gehad… nie sleg nie, ne?  En toe gaan hy huistoe na Sy Vader in die Hemel.  Die enigste man wat my nou so goed ken, is die Here wat nou my “man” is.

Sterkte julle!

HIER IS DIE VRAE-LYS. WEES ABSOLUUT EERLIK WANNEER JY JOU ANTWOORD NEERSKRYF.  Onthou jy antwoord dit asof jy jou man/vrou antwoord. Jy moet se wat hulle gunsteling is…. ens.

  • Wat is my gunsteling parfuum/After-shave?
  • Wat is my gunsteling kleur?
  • Wat is my gunsteling musiek (tipe)?
  • Wat is my gunsteling boom?
  • Wat is my gunsteling musiek-instrument?
  • Wat is my gunsteling Nommer?
  • Wat is my gunsteling tv-program?
  • Wat is my gunsteling koeldrank?
  • Wat is my gunsteling sweets?
  • Wat is my gunsteling chocolates?
  • Wat is my gunsteling groente?
  • Wat is my gunsteling vrug?
  • Wat is my gunsteling kleur lipstiffie? (Net die manne moet hier antwoord -Hopelik nie vroue nie!)
  • Wat is my gunsteling dier?
  • Wat is my gunsteling Bybelvers?
  • Wat is my gunsteling Kos-soort?
  • Wat is my gunsteling chutney?
  • Wat ismy gunsteling wyn?
  • Wat is my gunsteling warm drankie?
  • Wat is my gunsteling roomys?
  • Wat is my gunsteling groot-koek?
  • Wat is my gunsteling tert?
  • Wat is my gunsteling: muffins of skons?
  • Wat is my gunsteling gereg wat ek van hou om te maak?
  • Wat is my gunsteling water om te drink?
  • Wat is my gunsteling TIPE flieks?
  • Wat is my gunsteling tyd verdryf?
  • Wat is my gunsteling hobby?
  • Wat is my gunsteling sport?
  • Wat is my gunsteling skoen: Hofskoene / Boots / Tekkies / Sandals (Sou jy weet wat jou vrou van hou?)
  • Wat is my gunsteling boek/e om te lees?
  • Wat is my gunsteling tee?
  • Wat is my gunsteling sop?
  • Wat is my gunsteling vakansie plek?
  • Wat is my gunsteling drag? (rokke / romp en bloes / langbroek en bloes) (Net manne moet antwoord)
  • Wat is my gunsteling motor?
  • Wat is my gunsteling “Body Spray”?
  • Wat is my gunsteling slaapklere: Sweetpak /Sexy nighties / Enige klere / T-shirt & short / nakend
  • Wat is my gunsteling: Duvet / Komberse / Slaapsak /Vere-duvet / lakens
  • Wat is my gunsteling shampoo?
  • Wat is my gawes van die Heilige Gees?
  • Wat is my gunsteling weer: Sonskyn of reen?
  • Wat is my “old time favourite” movie?
  • Wat is my gunsteling blom/blomme?
  • Wat is my bloedgroep?
  • Wat is my passie in die lewe?
  • Wat verkies ek – franse slaai of griekse slaai?
  • Wat hou ek meeste van: vlieg / boot ry / trein ry / bus ry / motor ?
  • Wat doen ek wanneer ek alleen wil wees?
  • Wat sal ek kies : Vis of Spare-ribs?
  • Wat sal ek kies : Slapchips of pop-corn?
  • Wat sal ek kies : Milo of Horlicks?
  • Wat sal ek kies : Jelly Babies of Apricots ?
  • Wat sal ek kies : Fliek of Home-Video’s ?
  • Wat sal ek kies : Uit-eet of Piekniek?
  • Wat sal ek kies : Skottelgoed – Was / afdroog / wegpak ?
  • Wat sal ek kies : Macaroni & cheese OF Spaghetti Bolognaise ?
  • Wat sal ek kies : Hotelkamer / KaravaanPark / Self-Catering Chalet ?
  • Wat sal ek kies : Chinese Braai OF Fondue ?
  • Wat sal ek kies : ‘n Dag saam met my kinders / Dag saam met my familie ?
  • Watter tipe musiek inspireer my?
  • Watter tipe huis hou ek van: Outyds / modern / hout / staal / glas / baksteen / pleister / teels?
  • Watter suster/broer kom ek meeste oor die weg?
  • Watter kleur is my hare?
  • Watter kleur is my oe as ek liefdevol is?
  • Watter kleur is my oe as ek hartseer is?
  • Watter kleur is my oe as ek gelukkig is?
  • Watter kleur is my oe as ek ongelukkig is?
  • Watter kleur is my oe as ek romanties is?
  • Watter kleur is my oe as ek kwaad is?
  • Watter kleur is my oe as ek teleurgesteld is?
  • Watter kleur is my oe as ek in die HG beweeg?
  • Watter kleur is my oe as ek excited is?
  • Watter tipe skilderye hou ek van?
  • Watter tipe vase hou ek van : Pottery / Glas / Staal / Hout ?
  • Waar sou ek graag wou bly – land ?
  • Waar sou ek graag wou bly – plaas / stad?
  • Waar sou ek graag wou bly – Huis / woonstel?
  • Waar sou ek gaag wou heengaan vir ‘n “Hunny-moon”
  • Waar sou ek graag wou heengaan saam met my beste vriendin vir 2weke vakansie?
  • Waar sou ek graag my inders heenvat vir ‘n dag-trip: Zoo / Hartebeespoortdam / Gold Reef City?
  • Waar sou ek graag my geliefde wou neem om te bederf ? – Ete / Fliek / Piekniek / Huis toe ?
  • Waar sou ek graag wou bly : Kaapstad / Transvaal / Durban / Noorde / Suidkus / Vaal Driehoek?
  • Waar sou ek graag eet ? Nando’s / Pizza / Wimpy / KFC / Steers / Roadhouse / deftige restaurant?
  • Wie is my grootste vyand ?
  • Wie is my susters?
  • Wie is my beste vriendin?
  • Wie is my tweede beste vriendin?
  • Wie is my gunsteling 3 akteur – mans?
  • Wie is my gunsteling 3 akteur – vrouens?
  • Wie is my gunsteling sanger – vrou?
  • Wie is my gunsteling sanger – man?
  • Wie is my gunsteling sanger-groep?
  • Wie hou ek meeste van – my pa of ma?
  • Wie ken my beter as ek self ?
  • Hou ek van spoed in ‘n motor?
  • Hou ek van dans?
  • Hou ek van diere in die huis?
  • Hou ek daarvan as die son skyn terwyl dit reen?
  • Hou ek van mense oor die algemeen?
  • Hou ek van sagte reen of harde reen?
  • Hou ek daarvan om bloed te skenk?
  • Hou ek van badsout?
  • Hou ek van Fisiese Kontak met vreemdelinge?
  • Hou ek van Four-wheel driving?
  • Hou ek van sky-diving?
  • Hou ek van bungee-jumping?
  • Hou ek van river-rafting?
  • Hou ek van Hiking?
  • Hou ek van seks ?
  • Hou ek van Chinese kos?
  • Hou ek van sports-karre?
  • Hou ek van outydse karre?
  • Hou ek van plastiek blomme?
  • Hou ek van smash-aartappels?
  • Hou ek van aksie-flieks?
  • Hou ek van romantic comedy’s ?
  • Hou ek van Psycho riller-flieks?
  • Hou ek van Science fiction flieks?
  • Hou ek van Adult-movies?
  • Hou ek van “cartoons” ?
  • Hou ek van drama-flieke?
  • Hou ek van opera (teater) ?
  • Hou ek van glas-goed?
  • Hou ek van yoghurt?
  • Hou ek van afval?
  • Hou ek van seekos?
  • Hou ek van my liggaam?
  • Hou ek van sykouse?
  • Hou ek van hoede?
  • Hou ek van serpe?
  • Hou ek van handskoene?
  • Hou ek van wollerige kouse in die winter?
  • Hou ek van skottelgoed?
  • Hou ek van stryk?
  • Hou ek van wasgoed was?
  • Hou ek van vloere politoer?
  • Hou ek van enige handdoek, of my eie?
  • Hou ek daarvan om my bed met enigeen te deel?
  • Hou ek daarvan om my bad met enigeen te deel?
  • Hou ek daarvan om in die son te le en tan?
  • Hou ek van poppe en wollerige speelgoed?
  • Hou ek darvan om NUUS te kyk?
  • Hou ek van groot trokke?
  • Hou ek van huis afstof ?
  • Hou ek van vacuum clean?
  • Hou ek van katte?
  • Hou ek van honde?
  • Hou ek van visse?
  • Hou ek van voels?
  • Hou ek van motorfietse?
  • Hou ek van “karaoke”?
  • Hou ek van braaivleis?
  • Hou ek van my hare lengte?
  • Hou mense van myself oor die algemeen?
  • Hoe hou ek van my beddegoed?
  • Hou ek van oorskiet kos?
  • Hou ek van visvang?
  • Hou ek van skilderye?
  • Hou ek van verf?
  • Hou ek van parties?
  • Hou ek van “kitchen-tea’s” ?
  • Hou ek van girls-night out? (of boys-night out)
  • Hou ek van fietsry?
  • Hou ek van ‘n kaggelvuur?
  • Hou ek van berg-klim?
  • Hou ek van stap-toere?
  • Hou ek van diepsee-visvang?
  • Hou ek van kougom?
  • Hou ek van rose?
  • Hou ek van sokker?
  • Hou ek van swem?
  • Hou ek van geld?
  • Hou ek van sneeu?
  • Hou ek van “bed-opmaak” ?
  • Hou ek van lawaaierige musiek?
  • Hou ek van harde musiek?
  • Hou ek van squash / tennis / tafeltennis?
  • Hou ek van biltong / droe wors?
  • Hou ek van rugby?
  • Hou ek van snoeker / pool ?
  • Hou ek van sweetex ?
  • Hou ek van plankvloere ?
  • Hou ek van teels ?
  • Hou ek van tuinmaak?
  • Hou ek van swembad skoonmaak ?
  • Hou ek van dasse ?
  • Hou ek van belde dra?
  • Hou ek van Stiletto’s ?
  • Hou ek van Rooiwyn / Rose / Witwyn ?
  • Hou ek van Rooibostee of gewone tee?
  • Hou ek van Aspersies?
  • Hou ek van avokadopeer?
  • Hou ek van tuna-vis?
  • Hou ek van Konfyt?
  • Hou ek van Gas-heaters?
  • Hou ek van Matte?
  • Hou ek van melk?
  • Hou ek van komplimente?
  • Hou ek van aandag?
  • Hou ek van iemand wat my admire?
  • Hou ek van boemelaars?
  • Hou ek van dubbel-verdieping huise?
  • Hou ek van Klip-paadjies / Teel-paadjies / Sement paadtjies / Hout-paadjies ?
  • Hou ek van waatlemoen-fights?
  • Hou ek daarvan om na ‘n Wildtuin te gaan?
  • Hou ek van Museums?
  • Hou ek daarvan om na Dieretuine toe te gaan?
  • Glo ek in re-inkarnasie?
  • Glo ek aan Versekering uitneem?
  • Glo ek aan vliende parings?
  • Hou ek daarvan om met modder te speel tussen my tone langs die vis-waters?
  • Glo ek aan spoke?
  • Glo ek aan engele?
  • Glo ek aan duiwels?
  • Glo ek “witchcraft” en “vudu” exist?
  • Glo ek dat God die Skepper van die wereld is?
  • Glo ek dat satan my nie kan doodmaak nie?
  • Glo ek dat Jesus Christus vir my gesterf het?
  • Glo ek dat die Heilige Gees my vertrooster en maat is?
  • Glo ek dat elke mens iets goed in hom het?
  • Glo ek dat elkeen gered kan word?
  • Glo ek dat Jesus kan genees?
  • Glo ek dat Jesus Christus my vrygekoop het van sonde?
  • Wat is my swakste eienskap?
  • Wat is my beste eienskap?
  • Noem 5 dinge wat ‘n goeie karaktertrek van my is?
  • Noem 5 dinge wat nie ‘n goeie karaktertrek is nie?
  • Is jy lief vir my – HOEKOM?
  • Wat is dit van my wat ander mense afsit?
  • Wat sou ek doen as ek nou dadelik R100 000-00 wen?
  • Wat sou ek doen as jy vir my se dat jy my gekul het met ‘n ander man/vrou?
  • Is ek gelukkig op hierdie stadium van my lewe?
  • Huil ek te maklik?
  • Word ek gou kwaad?
  • Wat is die een ding in my lewe wat ek baie graag wil doen?
  • Wat is die een ding in my lewe wat ek graag sou wou besit?
  • Hou ek van die maan?
  • Is die sterre vir my mooi?
  • Wat dink ek van die “Universe”?

My man, My Vrou…

VUL EERLIK IN EN STUUR TERUG AAN MY.  KOM ONS KYK HOE GOED KEN JY MY?

Mag hierdie lys julle help om mekaar beter te leer ken. Shalom.

Ps Nomsa

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(AFR) HUWELIKS-BERADING 1 – Twee beginsels tot ‘n suksesvolle Huwelik

TWEE BEGINSELS TOT ‘N SUKSESVOLLE HUWELIK

God het ‘n vrou gemaak uit ‘n deel van die man sodat hulle in alle opsigte een kan wees.  Die vrou is dieselfde bloed as die man en die vrou is ook nooit minderwaardig teenoor die man nie.  Vroue is ook nie ondergeskik aan mekaar nie; maar sy is die man se ewe knie en gelyke.  Die een het ook nie meer status as die ander een nie maar hulle moet in rolverdeling lewe.
Efe 5:21-22 die woord se dat die man die hoof van die vrou is soos Christus die hoof van die gemeente is, so jy as man moet jou vrou dien.  Jy moet haar lei volgens die woord van God en vir haar sterwe soos (in die Gees) Jesus vir ons gesterf het.
God verwag van ons as mans om ons vroue altyd op te tel en te prys soos Jesus ons altyd oplig en prys by die Vader.  In die huwelik of verhouding moet julle mekaar altyd aanvul veral in die Gees.  Die man en vrou moet as n eenheid voor Christus staan.
Daar is 2 basiese beginsels vir n sukses volle huwelik of verhouding:
1) Julle moet getrou wees aan mekaar;
2) Julle moet mekaar onvoorwaarlik lief he soos Jesus ons lief het.
Wanneer man en vrou een word in die Gees sal die liefde toe neem wat dan sal ly tot emosionele en intellektuele intimitiet tussen man en vrou.
Shalom
Geskryf deur BAREND RUST 
TRT Restorer
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